inside of my heart

Do you ever have the feeling that life is passing you by? You feel as though you will wake up one day to find that the world has forgotten about you. Maybe it's just an idea that comes and goes but I feel this all the time. I wonder how anyone could ever get through life happily. People think they are complete, safe, and in the exact place they wish to be. But what more is out there? Can anyone truly say that they have been everywhere they dreamed of, done everything they feared the most? I want to see the world, help those in need, love with no conditions. I see all those around me, people who smile without a thought, and in my mind I question if those smiles are just an illusion of what they feel is true bliss. Maybe something will change my heart, my dreams, my yearning for something more. But for tonight I feel like I have lost. Lost my childhood, lost my ambition, lost the reason I wake up every morning. I just want to feel free. To smile on the inside, to feel successful, to be the one who has conquered their desires.