following the right path

I feel as though I have so many options but yet no option at all. It seems like just a year ago I felt that my life was going just as I had planned. I miss being in school....chasing my dream. When did life become just a place to get through? What happened to being a nurse at the age of 22? I knew there would be obstacles and that God's path for me wouldn't always be what I hoped for. I am praying for a new beginning. I am ready to get my life in order. My family and a few close friends are pushing for me to move back to Sulphur Springs to take some time to catch up on things that I lost touch on. But what if it isn't the right thing for me right now? What if it is what is best? I am praying for guidance...to the only person who knows me better than myself. I want to see the world, help children in need, make the best of what I have to offer the world. I am strong....I just need to feel it deep within me. I know that God would never put me somewhere that I can survive. He brought me to Dallas for a reason, I just need to stop fighting it. Open my eyes Dear Lord that is all I ask for today.

inside of my heart

Do you ever have the feeling that life is passing you by? You feel as though you will wake up one day to find that the world has forgotten about you. Maybe it's just an idea that comes and goes but I feel this all the time. I wonder how anyone could ever get through life happily. People think they are complete, safe, and in the exact place they wish to be. But what more is out there? Can anyone truly say that they have been everywhere they dreamed of, done everything they feared the most? I want to see the world, help those in need, love with no conditions. I see all those around me, people who smile without a thought, and in my mind I question if those smiles are just an illusion of what they feel is true bliss. Maybe something will change my heart, my dreams, my yearning for something more. But for tonight I feel like I have lost. Lost my childhood, lost my ambition, lost the reason I wake up every morning. I just want to feel free. To smile on the inside, to feel successful, to be the one who has conquered their desires.